‘No-one can make me feel shame anymore. I am black and bi, proudly so’
Pronouns: she / her
Content warning: swearing
Names have been redacted to protect anonymity
Tell us about your sexuality, and any terms you align with
Queer. Love this because it encompasses the fluidity of my self expression.
Bi. Because I am attracted to more than one gender and no one can make me feel shame anymore. I am black and bi, proudly so.
Has coming out been part of your experience? If so, what did coming out mean to you?
Came out a few times as most assumed that I was on the fence about my sexuality or that I was on the way to becoming fully gay. Combining assertiveness with my final coming out is what made people finally hear me. I am a black bi, I am not changing and I am not going anywhere.
My final coming out meant that I have finally been heard.
Have you had any memorable responses from other people about your sexuality?
I am prone to cheating.
As a Bi, I can never commit.
As a Bi, I cannot be trusted.
I need to have a partner around me all the time because bi's cannot be trusted to behave.
I have not been fucked by a real man.
Do you think your gender (if any) affects how people react to your sexuality?
Most people assume that I am a baby lesbian. Apparently, I have all the traits of one. (that's what I have been told).
Do you think the gender of your romantic or sexual partner has affected people's perceptions of your sexuality?
If I have a male partner, then I am not a Bi, I am just exploring with women.
If I have a female partner, I am refusing to come out as a lesbian. I cannot be bi and be with a woman (I just can't win so I don't care anymore)
Are there any words / phrases that you've encountered as being associated with your sexuality?
Prone to cheat.
Untrustworthy.
Too much hassle.
Do you feel that you see enough representation of your sexuality in culture / media / beyond?
No, not at all.
The media tends to minimise bisexuality whenever they show it or talk about it. They are contributing to all the stereotypes and it needs to stop.
What challenges do you face as a person who is attracted to more than one gender?
People are instantly wary when I mention my sexuality. It helps me filter out unserious persons and that's the advantage.
Where do you feel most confident expressing your sexuality? Are there and spaces or communities that make you feel especially welcome?
Events organised by This is Biscuit and by Living Free UK.